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loneliness has been my partner

four marriages matter little

several lovers lost count

led me here

unfortunate

deep sacred introspection

 

an intro into inspection

who, what makes up rules?

too many of them

easy to ignore

an invitation to spend a life ripping myself apart

day after day

moments mounting

until the depression is so gripping

worthlessness so real

i sense i reek like rotting flesh

 

my sins no longer forgiven

were they ever?

god is dead to me

an evil stalker haunts me

lures me

to a dreadful end

confession no longer viable

a ruse a perversion

capriciously taken away by rule makers

public confession

an invitation to lie

or die

or

write and write more

what no one will read

the child who would not stop asking why

is still at it     

he refuses to die.

t. villella

2018

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