Opioids: My Story

In 2001, I asked my doctor for help to manage my chronic pain because of the car accident when I was almost 19. She is a wonderfully insightful woman, very professional, and a dedicated practitioner of medicine. For the first time in my life, I started using opioids. The opioid I started with contained 500mg of an opioid called hydrocodone and 200mg of ibuprofen three times a day. Over 15 years, my daily dose slowly increased until I took four to six tablets daily—each containing 1000mg of hydrocodone bitartrate and 200mg of ibuprofen—more than double from where I started 15 years prior.

The goal of most prescription medications is to treat the symptoms of a disease or disorder, not to cure it. Most patients hope for the outcome I described earlier, with zero symptoms and zero side effects. The worst side effect I encountered from my opioid use was occasional constipation. It was a side effect of ibuprofen that put me in the hospital in 2017. Ibuprofen can damage the lining of your stomach and harm your kidney function. Ibuprofen is in a category of drugs called NSAIDs or nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs. NSAIDs increase the risk of heart attack and other heart problems by one-third. Ibuprofen, in particular, more than doubles the risk of a major heart event. I took 800mg a day because my options were limited to either a mix of the opioid and ibuprofen or acetaminophen.10  I tolerated this drug cocktail well for years. I could work without pain for the first time in many years. Why this combination of hydrocodone and Ibuprofen, you might ask? Using ibuprofen is the lesser of two evils. They offered me two choices, hydrocodone and 325 mg of acetaminophen or hydrocodone and 200mg of ibuprofen. With acetaminophen, some of the drug converts into a toxic metabolite that can harm liver cells. Taking too much acetaminophen raises the risk of liver damage, and in severe cases, it can lead to death. Taking too much ibuprofen, especially over a long period, will damage the lining of your stomach. That is exactly what happened to me.

I firmly believe ibuprofen and acetaminophen are more dangerous than hydrocodone. All can lead to death, but hydrocodone can be quicker. The familiar, ubiquitous, over-the-counter drugs can cause death as well; It takes a long time but can happen. Pharmaceutical companies advise that ibuprofen should not be taken daily for more than a week or two. At 200mg four times a day for fifteen years, it was harmful to me. I ended up with stomach ulcers, and it was not the opioids that were responsible. By the winter of 2015, I was taking four 1000mg/200mg tablets, plus I used a 10mg per hour 24/7 transdermal pain patch called Butrans. I used the patch because the pain would come back every night, right about when the opioid wore off, around 5:00 AM Every morning, pain and a sick feeling awakened me, like having mild flu. The patch stopped that from occurring. My issue was going into withdrawal every morning. I used a strategy to slow the buildup of opioid tolerance. Every few weeks I would lower my dose by half for two-four days, then ramp back up again slowly. It was my thinking that I was taking too much opioid medicine. Pharmaceutical companies told patients to take their opioid meds even if they were not experiencing pain. I suspected this advice from the beginning, as the major side effect was building a tolerance faster than need be. This advice led to far too many people becoming addicted.

On July 4, 2017, I pulled off the last Butrans patch I had. I stopped using a patch. I’d learned from a close read of the package insert, in very fine print, that use of the Butrans patch can also cause death.

I enjoy using my hot tub with a water temperature of 104 degrees. I also enjoy gardening out in the summer sun. The insert explained that if one allows the patch’s heat to go up a few degrees above average body temperature, it could release almost a week’s worth of a powerful opioid directly into the bloodstream in seconds. That much was certain to cause respiratory depression, which is the direct cause of opioid overdoses and death. You just stop breathing. Add to that, the copay was $115 per month. Later I learned that increasing the Butrans patch to 15mg per hour had a copay of $627 per month, yet it was the recommendation of a pain management specialist, not my doctor of 20 years. Why, after many years of working successfully with my M.D., did I find myself in the office of a pain management specialist where I was spending $250 for a 20-minute consultation? Compare the cost of the pain management specialist, $75 for office visits plus $627 copay for Butrans, to a copay of $20 for the office visit and a $10.49 copay for the opioid I had been taking for years. Do the math while asking who is getting rich off the pain of millions of chronic pain patients?

Next, I weaned myself off what had become a daily dose of four 1000mg opioid tablets, one every six hours. I planned to take a little less until I could stop taking any. It did not go that smoothly. It was more like two steps forward, then one back. Some days, when I felt good, I would take none. After six weeks, I had only a dozen opioid tablets left. My body hurt. I felt pains I had not realized were there.

I had a runny nose that would not stop, so I used a prescription nasal spray to reduce it. The worst was over and the drugs were gone, but constant pain was back. The withdrawal from these drugs was unpleasant, like having bad flu, which lingered a little for weeks beyond the first six. Once clean, I was painfully aware of why I had needed to take painkillers for the last fifteen years. My pain was real and debilitating, making it very difficult to write again.

Before my experiment with self withdrawal (detox).11 So why did Big Pharma encourage daily narcotic drug use, whether one is experiencing pain? Was it greed and perverse incentives? But was there another reason, one that had nothing to do with patient pain? Was it all just a marketing ploy to get people to buy more drugs? There is plenty of evidence that it was simple, pernicious greed.12 

In 2007, Purdue Pharma agreed to pay $600 million in fines and other payments. Also, three executives from Purdue Pharma, its president, top lawyer, and medical director pled guilty to criminal violations and paid $34.5 million in fines. However, between 1995 and 2001, OxyContin brought $2.8 billion in revenue for Purdue Pharma. It stands to reason they made much more than that since 2007.13

Was this a battle won in the War on Drugs? No. The punishment in no way fits the wrongdoing. I learned from reading the transcript of a National Public Radio All Things Considered broadcast that the Sackler family, who owned Purdue Pharma received immunity from future opioid lawsuits in a bankruptcy proceeding lawsuit in the summer of 2021 presided over by Federal Judge Robert Drain in White Plains, NY. In return, they agreed to pay $4.3 billion and forfeit ownership of Purdue Pharma. The Department of Justice may appeal. I would not hold your breath. The Sackler family admits no wrongdoing and estimates they made more than $10 billion from opioid sales. I find it disgusting that they remain one of the wealthiest families in the world.

I do not recommend that anyone manage withdrawal on their own, the way I did. My doctor did not know what I was doing. I could have used help only a doctor can provide, but something inside me insisted I do this alone. Keep your doctors in the loop if you need to wish to manage withdrawal. It was important; I wanted to do it on my own to monitor and eliminate as many variables as possible. I wanted to feel the effects of withdrawal firsthand and did. Anxiety would overwhelm me for moments, then fade. The fear of impending depression was imposing and increasingly incessant. I worried about what I was going to worry about and learned not to do that. Having struggled with episodes of depression since I was twenty-five, far too many times there was good cause for worry. I have had it under control for many years. When intentionally going into withdrawal, I knew I must be cautious and responsible.

The intrusiveness of unstoppable suicidal ideation, the signature of my depressions, would be far more challenging to handle than withdrawal. Once it started, I could not turn it off; I had to outwit it until I learned how to outwit it. If you suffer from depression, the situation is not hopeless, although you feel that way. If you are depressed right now, exercise! The number one item on the list, the least expensive, is exercise. It is as simple as making your bed, going for a walk, riding a bike, getting your body in motion, and seeing your doctor. The things you may have stopped doing every day for weeks. With each bit of a step, you will feel a subtle but certain difference. You can manage depression. Until we find a cure (psilocybin therapy shows great promise) we will keep seeking ways to do so.

I went to see my doctor and told her what I had accomplished. I asked if there were other, newer, inexpensive medications I could take as needed. We tried one and then another. I ended up taking one or two 500mg/325mg Norco hydrocodone as needed. Almost three years passed without having to increase the dosage of this prescription. My copay is $10.49 per month. The downside; the DEA did an 18-month investigation of my doctor. They came up empty. Science is working hard to eliminate depression and not just treat its symptoms. Pharmaceutical companies have a perverse incentive not to. They can’t make continuing profit from cures. The first step is to learn why it happens, which is not the same for each individual. Want to defeat your depression? Get busy helping us to find a cure and investigate psilocybin therapy.

The State of Michigan however established a Prescription Drug Monitoring Program (PDMP). Are PDMPs mandatory? Yes, mandatory use of prescription drug monitoring programs (PDMPs) is a legal mandate by the state for prescribers (and, in some states, dispensers). Prescribers are required by law to register with and use the state PDMP when prescribing (or dispensing) a Schedule II drug or other controlled drug.15 The program requires patients like me to submit to a monthly drug test to prove I am taking my opioid medication as prescribed. Until COVID hit it was a urine test. During COVID it became a saliva swab. I have passed the test approximately 36 times.16 I consider this an invasion of privacy and a necessary evil to continue using a medication that improves the quality of my life and enables me to write. I will continue to seek inexpensive alternatives to opioid medications. I will buy into or use the extraordinarily expensive “solution drugs.”

The program requires patients like me to submit to a monthly drug test to prove I am taking my opioid medication as prescribed. Until COVID hit, it was a urine test. During COVID, it became a saliva swab. I have passed the test approximately 36 times.

I wish I could get a dollar for each opioid painkiller I took, and I did not need it. This dangerous advice was not medically sound; it was a marketing ploy designed to sell significantly more opioid drugs to a trusting and uninformed public. It worked, and they are at it again with very high-priced “solution drugs” like methadone, buprenorphine, and naltrexone.17

I suggest it was simple, old-fashioned American marketing driven by greed. The pharmaceutical companies did it to sell-sell-sell more opioid drugs. It was not a well-meaning mistake but intentional, and it worked for Big Pharma. It worked in the same way that denying the addictive nature of nicotine worked for big tobacco. Big Pharma made billions from the manufacture and sale of opioids. People with actual conditions that warrant pain medication took more opioids than they needed in good faith. Some paid the ultimate price. And now Big Pharma stands to make more profits off of what I call "solution drugs" - Big Pharma drugs that cost fifteen to twenty times the price of the common opioids used for centuries to relieve pain. They are not a solution. They are making the cost of managing chronic pain so expensive it is out of the reach of most Americans. They are complicit in most opioid-driven deaths.18

The opioid situation is a complex issue. It has no single root cause; there is no single person, group, agency, industry, or organization at fault. All too easy to waste time demonizing the DEA, FDA, HHS, the pharmaceutical industry, the practice of medicine, capitalism, socialism, or the free enterprise system. All are flawed systems. All have overstated their authority. All can improve. None are static.

If you need to blame, blame yourself for looking the other way, allowing your government to run amuck, for waiting for someone else to do something. In my field, we can often identify an undesirable outcome, do a root cause analysis, and identify the cause of a poorly functioning system. Systems thinkers call problems such as this a systemic problem.

Am I taking opioids just because I have them? Sometimes, yes. Having to prove I am taking all of my prescriptions each month encourages me to take them, whether or not I need them. The outcome is I spend more than I need and I take more than I need.

PDMPs are expensive to set up and administrate and your tax dollars pay for them. Are they necessary? Isn’t this another example of punishing a vast majority of people to control the behavior of a small minority of irresponsible drug addicts? Isn’t that Socialism? I am not a drug addict. I depend on various things to survive, like water, air, potassium, and more to thrive. So do you!

Does some of the behavior of Big Pharma, the FDA19, the DEA, and other government agencies trouble you?19 The DEA does great work in so many areas. Fentanyl is the most dangerous drug making its way into our streets in my lifetime. It is going to be very difficult to control. They have their work cut out for them. The black market grew in proportion to the DEA’s efforts to destroy it. A reenactment of Hamburger Hill20 or Gallipoli.21 The FDA has a mandate. You can read it and download a document that explains it at FDA.gov. Google, What is the mandate of the FDA. Keep in mind there are countless other issues that should concern you regarding the FDA. For example, would it surprise you to know that the companies it regulates provide approximately 45% of the FDA budget?22

How do we rationalize punishing the vast majority of valid pain patients in an attempt to change the behavior of a minority of mentally ill people? Did DEA policy cause this crisis—not good people with chronic pain?

In my firm opinion, their actions should not go unaccounted for. Today, some pharmaceutical companies have lost in court. But is losing in court just punishment? When billions of dollars are in play, a hefty fine and a little jail time by three executives does not deter, nor does it compensate, the millions of harmed people and their families. To me, it matters little if Big Pharma becomes bankrupt from the punishment they deserve. They are already bankrupt from a lack of moral decency and a clear lack of integrity. Our society cannot afford to allow such egregious, harmful behavior by corporations to continue to go unchecked for the sake of profit—just one man’s opinion? Hopefully not.

Was someone within the DEA complicit? Those DEA administrators, lawyers committed to prosecuting corporate crime were helpless. The decision to gut their departments came from high above their pay grade. If that does not reek of corruption and payoffs, then what does? DEA administrators could not stop this from happening, though a few tried—like the whistleblower, Joe Rannazzisi revealed when interviewed by Bill Whitaker of 60 Minutes.23

We know which former DEA attorneys sold out to work for these Big Pharma companies. Our system allows for such egregious behavior, but do you think it should? Answer for yourself and then act following the evidence, the money, the path of greed (or not), and your conscience. It seems to me, one day, DEA attorneys were fighting crime, and the next, they were committing a moral crime for a lot more money than we paid them as civil servants. Of course, their behavior was not illegal, but was it based upon greed? Should it be illegal?

I think we must hold these attorneys accountable for turning their backs on the American people. Should we shun and ostracize them for their corrupt behavior and have their bar cards revoked? We should allow no one to profit off the misery, pain, and illnesses of American citizens or other people worldwide. Their actions caused many people pain and, for some, their lives. Corrupt activities, legal or not, are sure to cause harm.

To my mind, this corporate and institutional behavior is reprehensible; it should make people sick; indeed, it does precisely that; sick of body and sick of mind. Big Pharma encouraged pain patients to take opioids, regardless of whether they were in pain, thus encouraging them to consume much more of a known addictive drug than necessary. Unethical? Illegal? The facts suggest it was the root cause of many patients developing a stronger dependence, which eventually led to addiction. I know this from my personal experience.

Remember, your tax dollars and personal pharmaceutical expenses are paying for it. You are getting robbed and made ill, and you do not know it, or you just accept it. These marketing methods did not help patients manage pain; they helped them ignore it. It likely allowed painful conditions to get worse. Again, we must ask, why would Big Pharma tell doctors to tell their patients to take pain medication in this manner, to take them, when you are not in pain?

I am certain I took more opioid medications than I needed and once dependent, I needed more and more. Something caught me in the spiral into addiction. Something had to change quickly.

A word about withdrawal. Movies and television programs often depict drug withdrawal and severe, unending, painful—almost impossible to endure. The well-established facts regarding opioid withdrawal tell a very different story. Opioid withdrawal can be uncomfortable but is rarely a dangerous condition. It occurs when a person with opioid dependence stops taking opioids. The withdrawal experience is authentic with any drug or substance. Stop consuming water, and you will become thirsty within hours or less. Continue not to ingest water in any form, and you will die in 3-4 days. When one stops consuming opioids, the body becomes thirsty for opioids. That is opioid withdrawal. The vital difference is, if you continue not to take opioids, you will not die; you will get better. People do not die from opioid withdrawal, but they get sick. How sick? It starts on the first day of withdrawal with a general feeling of being ill, sniffles, running nose. You feel you have caught a cold or flu.

Like a cold or flu, on the second day, it gets worse, and that familiar achy all-over feeling deepens; you are tired and often very irritable. The body is regaining its natural ability to experience pain; you can feel every ache and pain in your body; even some pains you didn’t know you had. The physical withdrawal symptoms subside on the third or fourth day, while any chronic pain you may have been managing returns to prior (pre-opioid) levels. At this stage, less than a week from your last dose of an opioid, most physical withdrawal has all but ended. But the psychological aspect of drug withdrawal lingers for years. Your character and presence of mind are now your best allies. Professional help can become your best friend, as can your family, in most instances.

The opioid withdrawal timeline varies a little from person to person. Withdrawal has everything to do with what we call the half-life of a drug or substance. The half-life of a drug is the time it takes the body to eliminate half a dose. Most opioids have a short half-life of just a few to several hours. Oxycodone’s half-life is 3–5 hours, while methadone (often used to treat opioid dependence) has a much longer half-life of 8–60 hours. The longer the half-life, the slower withdrawal symptoms appear and the longer they last. Take 100mg of oxycodone, and 3-5 hours later, 50% has left your body.

What happens after 50% of the oxycodone leaves your body? The process continues. In a second half-life period, with oxycodone, another 3-5 hours, 75% has left. In the next half-life period, half of what remains, 2.5% leaves. The process of elimination continues every 3-5 hours of abstinence until your body eliminates virtually all but a trace of the drug. What lingers indefinitely is the memory of how good you felt when you took the drug. That is where the hard part of recovering from a drug dependence lies in your head. You may need the help of a well-trained therapist. I think it becomes a battle between your brain, which is hard-wired to seek pleasure, and your mind, which is your most powerful ally in winning any internal conflict. You are not powerless. To think so is setting yourself up to fail.

I have used OxyContin to illustrate this concept but make no mistake, depending on the drug or substance withdrawal can be much worse and much longer. For example, because the half-life of methadone can vary between 8 and 60 hours, from the last dose, the onset of withdrawal occurs as soon as 8 hours or as long as 60 hours.24 Dependency does not cause or trigger physical symptoms; withdrawal from the drug does. We all live with drug and substance dependencies—everyone.

With most drugs, withdrawal symptoms are the most intense a day or so after a person stops taking the drug or substance. Withdrawal symptoms may become more severe for a short time, often a few days to less than a week. However, this is a short-term phenomenon, as a drug or substance leaves the body. It is essential to note that as a drug or substance leaves the body, the dependency also decreases, as do the withdrawal symptoms.

During withdrawal, the body does a miraculous job of self-healing. The more serious problem goes on in the mind of an opioid user (Or any drug. Only time frames and intensity vary). The critical success factor is addressing the psychological aspects of dependence, an individual’s understanding, and ability to take responsibility for their actions, play the largest role. That is where recovering addicts need the most help for the longest period.

Using other addictive drugs to treat drug addictions is simply replacing one addiction with another, often setting up the patient for a very difficult withdrawal (recall methadone) and doing so at very substantial costs, costs that the vast majority of former addicts simply cannot, and are potentially never going to afford. Unless things change.


10     Google Search, August 9, 2020, FDA, https://www.accessdata.fda.gov/drugsatfda_docs/label/2016/020716s012s013s014s015s016lbl.pdf

11     Use of the term detoxification has been replaced with Withdrawal Management because detoxification does not translate well to other languages. NCBI, Clinical Guidelines for Withdrawal Management and Treatment of Drug Dependence in Closed Settings. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK310652/

12     Zachary Siegel, The Opioid Crisis Is About More Than Corporate Greed, The New Republic, July 30, 2019, https://newrepublic.com/article/154560/opioid-crisis-corporate-greed

13     Barry Meier, In Guilty Plea, OxyContin Maker to Pay $600 Million, May 10, 2007, New York Times, https://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/10/business/11drug-web.html

14     The Sacklers, Who Made Billions From OxyContin, Win Immunity From Opioid Lawsuits, 2021, Host A Martinez with Brian Mann, All things Considered, National Public Radio, Updated September 1, 2021, https://www.npr.org/transcripts/1031053251#:~:text=More%20Podcasts%20%26%20Shows-,Sackler%20Family%20Wins% 20Immunity%20From%20

15     DEA Regulations for Communicating Controlled Substance Prescriptions to Pharmacies, Prevention Solutions@EDC (Educational Development Center, Accessed December 10, 2021, https://preventionsolutions.edc.org/services/resources/mandatory-use-prescription-drug-monitoring-programs

16    Charles V. Preuss; Arun Kalava; Kevin C. King, Prescription of Controlled Substances: Benefits and Risks, National Center for Biotechnology Information, Last Update: August 31, 2021, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK537318/

17    NIDA. 2021, April 13. How much does opioid treatment cost?. Retrieved from https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/research-reports/medications-to-treat-opioid-addiction/how-much-does-opioid- treatment-cost on November 29, 2021,

18     Andrew Kolodny, MD. AUG 2020 issue. Accessed January 27, 2021. How FDA Failures Contributed to the Opioid Crisis, https://journalofethics.ama-assn.org/article/how-fda-failures-contributed-opioid-crisis/2020-08

19     Pam Belluck, Biogen Slashes Price of Alzheimer’s Drug Aduhelm, as It Faces Obstacles, December. 20, 2021, NY Times, https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/20/health/alzheimers-aduhelm-price.html

20     Battle of Hamburger Hill, Last Edited September 21, 2021, Wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Hamburger_Hill

21     Gallipoli campaign, Last Edited November 25, 2021, Wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gallipoli_campaign

22     C. Michael White, Why is the FDA Funded in Part by the Companies It Regulates? May 21, 2021, UConn Today, https://today.uconn.edu/2021/05/why-is-the-fda-funded-in-part-by-the-companies-it-regulates-2/

23     You can watch the broadcast; it aired on October 1, 2017. It was titled “Ex-DEA Agent: Opioid Crisis Fueled by Drug Industry and Congress” Accessed September 13, 2020,


24     CLINICAL GUIDELINES AND PROCEDURES FOR THE USE OF METHADONE IN THE MAINTENANCE TREATMENT OF OPIOID DEPENDENCE, Last Modified August 2003, https://www1.health.gov.au/internet/publications/publishing.nsf/Content/drugtreat-pubs-meth-toc~drugtreat-pubs-meth- s1


What is Wrong With our Government

We are witness to a significant, palpable trend in how we govern ourselves. The Federal level is now inept and incapable of breaking the bonds of self-imposed tyrannies. Washington is ripe and rife with tyranny. We witness the tyranny of lobbyists, though most of it is hidden from our view, inserted in our laws, and imposed upon inept lawmakers seeking only their immoral self-interests. All of this has one thing in common, greed. Then there is the tyranny of self-defeating partisanship; it is well-experienced practitioners blinded from unconsciously selected biases and ideas imposed, not their own. Last, and worst of all, is the tyranny of corruption, so ingrained it has become normalized even though it is often illegal. Tyranny, like water, seeks its level. Tyranny is incorruptible because it is the soul of corruption. We are in need of independent thinkers.

The epicenter of corruption is now Washington, DC. It is for this reason that its power to govern has become impotent, chaotic, and illogical. It is a fencing match with no winner, but we, the people, continue to lose the most.

The Federal government's power is streaming away from this epicenter, leak after leak toward local governing bodies. It streaks naked past the state level unabashed and unafraid, to where it belongs, in the hands of the people in our counties, cities, townships, villages, and neighborhoods. I am one of those independent thinkers, and so are you, if you choose to be. Please, for the sake of our children and theirs, find your voice. It is deep inside you. You probably argue with it every day. You can feel it beating in your chest. Speak from your heart. Do not surrender it to the status quo.  Do something now.


A Time of Rising Expectations

The phrase "a revolution of rising expectations" became popular after World War II. It refers to a situation in which a rise in prosperity and freedom leads people to believe they can improve life for themselves and their families. It leads them to seek political changes that will allow them to pursue opportunities. We now live in such a time. A time when we shed the shackles of the past, like the minimum wage, and replace it with a living wage. A time in which we get smart about recreational drug use and monetize it appropriately. These two intelligent actions will reduce poverty and much of the crime, hopelessness, addiction that comes with it.

When people have meaningful work and are paid a living wage It is good for the working person's economy, mental and physical health, and promotes the common good for society. It is a positive step on the path to fair sharing of the wealth of this once great nation.

If you are one of the millions of Americans who work paycheck to paycheck, often fall behind due to unexpected expenses like a car repair, necessary home repair, or unanticipated prescription drug costs, you need to support legislation to replace the minimum wage with a living wage. It is good for the working person's economy, mental and physical health, and promotes common good for society. It is a positive step on the path to fair sharing of the wealth of this once great nation.

How to Calculate Your Living Wage


The DEA: Enforcer not Lawmaker

The DEA is an enforcer, not a lawmaker. The bulk of the blame for the War on Drugs must go back to a horrible and corrupt decision by then-President Richard Nixon in 1970. He is responsible for the Controlled Substances Act. Repealing the CSA and replacing it with modern legislation is the ideal thing to do now.

Nixon put himself first while in a job where he took an oath to serve all Americans. Never forget, Nixon temporarily placed marijuana in Schedule I, the most restrictive category of drugs. In doing so, Nixon ignored the review by a commission he appointed led by Republican Pennsylvania Governor Raymond Shafer. On  March 22, 1972, that commission presented a report to Congress entitled "Marihuana, a Signal of Misunderstanding," which favored ending marijuana prohibition and adopting other methods to discourage use. The report was republished as a Signet Books New American Library paperback in 1972. 

History is not the most reliable teller of truth; it is often very biased, so biased that it is untrue. People try to rewrite history every day. One must always consider the source when attempting to evaluate whether a claim is valid. For all the positive things Nixon did, like visiting and opening up a dialogue with China and retiring the gold standard, ignoring the findings of the commission he created, his paranoia-driven decision will forever retain a black mark of death. Many politicians from both sides followed in a lemming-like fashion to continue the futile war. Such is the self-destructive drift of humanity.

In 1994 Joe Biden considered the legislation he sponsored to continue and escalate the War on Drugs his signature legislation. He turned a blind eye to countless people harmed by ill-conceived and untested legislation. In 2020 he recanted by admitting, “[The crime bill] worked in some areas. But it failed in others. ... The violent crime rate was cut in half in America.” Was it? “The violent crime rate has been nearly cut in half — down 46% — from 1994 to 2017, but Biden’s suggestion that the 1994 legislation should be credited is misleading. Factcheck.org looked into a similar claim from Bill Clinton in 2016 and found experts pointed to other factors for most of that crime decrease."1 Multiple variables influence the crime rate. It is disingenuous to suggest a single factor.

Others continue to rationalize the expansion of the War on Drugs, wasting our tax dollars. The War on Drugs is a living travesty that continues to infringe on the rights and freedom of millions of decent Americans. Joe Biden has had his eyes opened; we all have, at least those who are willing to take an objective look at the state of the nation.

In 1972 Watergate got all the press. For months it was all the rage in Washington DC. Nixon, not a crook? Draw your conclusions.  For me, Richard Milhouse Nixon, a politician who I once admired, goes down in history as one of the worst criminals of all time. Nixon did his dirty work covertly, and my bet is he continued to discount the harm his policies caused millions of Americans until the day he died. It is the unconscious behavior of all megalomaniacs.

With Nixon out of office, the menace he created continued to ramp up 50 years. The same mentality that extended the Vietnam War was infectiously active in the War on Drugs. Why throw more lives and money at an unwinnable war? Would stopping the War on Drugs harm the economy? No! Just the opposite. Look no further than the impact of the decriminalization of marijuana here and in other countries around the world.

1  Lori Robertson, Biden on the 1994 Crime Bill, July 12, 2019, FactCheck.org, https://www.factcheck.org/2019/07/biden-on-the-1994-crime-bill/

The Evil Harry Anslinger

More Insight Into the Corrupt Racism that Led to Decades of Drug Prohibition

I hereby give the National Library of Medicine appropriate acknowledgment. From the NIH website, "Information that is created by or for the US government on this site is within the public domain."

The following excerpt provides a wealth of references. Let me be clear. I did not write this article. I reproduce it here because it is in the public domain and likely very obscure but to me, it is an important “must-read.” 


Note: The Film, The United States vs. Billie Holiday, available on Hulu, is a fair and accurate representation and illustration of how blatant racism was in our government. It also includes some great acting and music.


Solomon R (2020) Racism and its effect on cannabis research, Cannabis and Cannabinoid Research 5:1, 2–5, DOI: 10.1089/can.2019.0063.


In 1930, Harry Anslinger, became the first director of the Federal Bureau of Narcotics.12 Ansliger was appointed to the position by Secretary of the Treasury Andrew Mellon, his wife's uncle.13 Ansliger, an avid supporter of prohibition, had minimized the dangers of cannabis before his appointment. Once appointed, he began a campaign based on race and violence. Anslinger did not hide his prejudice, with comments like, “There are 100,000 total marijuana smokers in the US, and most are Negroes, Hispanics, Filipinos, and entertainers. Their Satanic music, jazz and swing, results from marijuana use. This marijuana causes white women to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers, and others.”14 Anslinger helped popularize the use of “marijuana” instead of the more common “cannabis,” to tie the drug to anti-Mexican prejudice.15,16 Anslinger's themes were replicated in the movie Reefer Madness17: cannabis turns men to violence and women to sexual promiscuity.††

Later, the Nixon administration was more subtle, but no less cynical, in enacting the CSA. Many people think of modern cannabis policy as starting with the CSA, but the Act was in basic principle a continuation of the MTA of 1937,4 which had the intent of prohibiting cannabis on a federal level. When the MTA was held to be unconstitutional in 1969,18 the Nixon administration formed a commission under the chairmanship of Raymond Shafer, a former Republican Governor of Pennsylvania.19 Nixon saw the commission as a means to establish the dangers of cannabis. To Nixon, the Shafer Commission was the opposite of legitimate scientific inquiry. It was a hit job and, as we learned later through the Nixon tapes,20,21 the hit was directed at African Americans and the antiwar movement, two groups Nixon despised.

John Erlichman, a senior advisor to Nixon, was later quoted as saying “We knew we couldn't make it illegal to be either against the war or black, but by getting the public to associate the hippies with marijuana and blacks with heroin, and then criminalizing both heavily, we could disrupt those communities. We could arrest their leaders, raid their homes, break up their meetings, and vilify them night after night on the evening news. Did we know we were lying about the drugs? Of course we did.”21 Ray Shafer did not get with the program. The commission concluded that cannabis was not as dangerous as perceived, and recommended decriminalization.19,22 The Administration and Congress ignored the recommendation and moved forward with the CSA.

The subsequent War on Drugs may have put hippies and the antiwar movement in a bad light, but, as shown by Michelle Alexander in The New Jim Crow,23 it was African American young men who paid the price by way of massive arrests. The conservative Cato Foundation and liberal Center for American Progress both agree that Nixon's War on Drugs, which was enforced by subsequent administrations, was an expensive failure, resulting in a period of 50 years of a federal policy based on a false premise and a conscious avoidance of evidence-based research.24,25

The consequences of federal policy include the Schedule I listing,26–28 a requirement to use limited and inadequate federally approved cannabis from the University of Mississippi for research,‡‡,§§,*** a federal bureaucracy tied to antiquated policies, and limited funding. As states liberalize cannabis use, state actors continue to act in fear of federal reprisals. State universities, including some of the greatest research facilities in the world, want to foster research, but are justifiably risk averse to any activity that may place federal funding in jeopardy.†††

We are not very good at admitting past mistakes, especially on issues of race, and that has consequences. When federal drug policy is to “Just Say No,”‡‡‡,§§§ there is little room for discussion. When the Attorney General of the United States comments that good people do not smoke cannabis,31,32 which he views as a gateway to the opium crisis and heroin use,****,†††† he quashes a rational discussion and signals that any research will be based on curtailing cannabis, not exploring its medical and social potential. Nancy Reagan and William Sessions are gone, but the policy lives on.

Cannabis laws are evolving quickly and rescheduling may occur in the near future. Until then, research will be inhibited, with a virtual lock on some of the most promising research. To move forward, we need to understand our history, and the false premise on which we have based this misguided policy. We need to treat the cannabis policy started in 1937 the same way we treat segregated schools,‡‡‡‡,33,34 miscegenation,§§§§ and other race-based policy. Our inquiry needs to start with an acknowledgment of the history of racial discrimination in our drug policy and move toward serious evidence-based research. If we fail to do so, we will remain the willing victims of our own racist history.

Go to:

Abbreviations Used


Controlled Substance Act


Drug Enforcement Administration


Marihuana Tax Act


University of California Office of the President


No competing financial interests exist.

*Frankenstein, or The Modern Prometheus is a gothic novel written by Mary Shelley (1818) in which Victor Frankenstein creates a creature from dead body parts.

Stranger Things (2016) is a popular television series written by the Duffer Brothers and released by Netflix, in which government experiments open a portal to an alternative dimension, which allows human-eating monsters into a small town. Three seasons have been released, and each deals with a new threat and attempts to close the portal.

See Reichard6 in support of the claim that the anti-cannabis campaign was based on economic interests.

  • For a contrary view, see Wishnia.7 Both versions emphasize the racist nature of the anti-cannabis campaign. The only dispute between the two versions is on the question of motive.

**As described in The Nation, “By the twenties and early thirties Hearst had expanded his media empire to include twenty-six daily newspapers in eighteen cities. All told, almost one in four US families read a Hearst paper every day. Still searching to expand his political sway, he moved into magazines—including Cosmopolitan, Good Housekeeping, Town & Country and Harper's Bazaar—then to radio stations, then newsreels.”

††Reefer Madness Grand National Studios, Los Angeles, CA, also attributed to MCM/Fathom, originally titled Teach your Children, is a 1936 anti-cannabis film, in which innocent teenagers become addicted to “reefers” distributed by unscrupulous drug dealers. Their use of cannabis leads to listening to attending jazz parties, resulting in violence and promiscuity.

‡‡The federal Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) regulates the cultivation of cannabis for research purposes under the CSA through licensing requirements. Since the inception of the CSA, DEA has only issued a single license for the cultivation of cannabis for research, to the University of Mississippi, which is funded through a NIDA contract.

  • §There have been many complaints about the quality of the University of Mississippi cannabis.27

***There have been many complaints about the quality of the University of Mississippi cannabis.28

†††As one example, the University of California Office of the President (UCOP) has held information sessions and regular conference calls to seek input and establish policies. Decisions on accepting funding from the cannabis industry, as well as other research determinations, are being made at the local level, with UCOP input. As a participant in several of these discussions, the author is aware of the tensions around any decision that might be grounds for a claim of a violation of federal law.

‡‡‡On September 14, 1986, in a nationally televised address, Nancy Reagan announced the “Just Say No” campaign, which emphasized abstinence and little else. The announcement can be seen on YouTube.29

  • §§The policy has been considered by most analysts as a failure. As one of many examples, see Grayholm.30

****William Sessions' views on cannabis and drug use were widely reported when he was nominated by Donald Trump the be the Attorney General of the United States.31

††††At a Senate Hearing in April 2016, he endorsed the Just Say No campaign and spoke on the dangers of cannabis.32

‡‡‡‡See, Brown v. Board of Education, 347 U.S. 483 (1954), holding that racial segregation in education violated the Equal Protection Clause of the 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution.

  • §§§See, Loving v. Virginia, 388 U.S. 1 (1967), holding that state laws banning interracial marriage violated the equal Protection and due Process Clauses of the 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution.


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National Center for Biotechnology Information, U.S. National Library of Medicine



A Gift That Doesn't Fit: The Dumbing-Down Of Brilliance


my mind explodes with ideas

my brain can't keep up

I think it does not want to.

well, at least the bad half.



the bicameral brain wages war upon itself

a battle ensues


thank you mind

for staying undivided

when I dream, I am excitedly at peace

my visions inspire 

not just me but others

if I dare come out of hiding

and let them know

what I think

else who cares?


the brain attacks the ideas

It shouts stop

like the teacher who stifles a child's creativity

"we don't do things that way."

"we've always done it this way."

"no need to change"

"change is bad."

"just go stand in the corner 

or kneel on these hard kernels of corn 

until you learn to be quiet."


No, thank you.

change I must

It just happens


stealthily seeking to be invisible

don't wanna get caught scheming about change.


Change am I

life is change 

without change, we die 

doomed by repeating the past 

but worse 

by choice 

by bad leadership

and apathy.


How do you grow without change? 

without consciously changing?

what is learning without change?

am I here to memorize the past?

what about the future

can't memorize that

the admonished child screams silently, in tears.


Change on a paradigm?

there's an idea.

there is strong evidence

debating for decades of delay, decay, difficulty-by-design, deliberate obfuscation, and human tragedy.

change by force fails

failing to change = death

We must continually seek new ideas 

not stifle them


encourage the disruptive child 

develop their creativity


they are, by nature, fragile

provide them a space in which to dream 

to explore and then apply and experiment and implement and validate

they are a future 

not left to chance

they are a way to

stop being "borne ceaselessly into the past."

Depressives Alert #1: Exercise

Depressives Alert #1: Exercise



When one is depressed, ideas to alleviate their depression will often pop into their head. But even thinking about what to do can deepen depression because it enhances and illustrates what the depressive is not doing but could/should do—quite the conundrum.  


I think it is a natural function of our brains to go to work solving problems whether we ask it to or not. The good angel bad angel concept comes to mind. You have probably seen this concept illustrated by a tiny angel sitting on one shoulder while a devil sits on the other.

When I conjure this image, I can’t help but think, does the shoulder on which the devil stands have anything to do with being right-brained or left-brained?


Individually we can come up with ideas to alleviate our depression, but because of our depressed state, we have a tough time acting on those ideas. For example, a depressed person should know that exercise is the cheapest and easiest thing to beat the blues or a much more severe chronic state of depression, yet we feel (and act) as if we are super glued into the recliner. So we grab the remote (try hiding it) and escape into the artificial reality of TV programming (ever wonder why it is called programming)? 


If you are a victim of depression (who isn’t?), you should know that exercise is probably the number one thing that you can do, something that doesn’t cost a thing but a little bit of time will alleviate depression almost immediately. The relief may be temporary; nevertheless, after you do something as simple as washing dishes, running the vacuum, or walking to the mailbox, you begin to feel better, even if it is ever so slightly. There is a danger that comes with this strategy__addiction. If your something to do is surrender to an addiction (I once started to list all of my addictions, when the list topped ten, I stopped because listing them was causing me to become depressed). 


I recall participating in a public speakers workshop when the speaker posited the question, “What do you do when you have the Blues?” I raised my hand and responded with, “I wash the dishes.” It got a laugh (20 people instantly became less depressed) and led to an arousing dialogue about what one can do to beat the Blues.  While I'm on the subject of the Blues: we often talk about the Blues as a mild form of depression which it is, but we can't confuse the Blues with serious, bordering on life-threatening depression. 


Almost non-stop suicidal ideations epitomized my personal experience with life-threatening depression. The one thing I would do (I think many depressives will identify with this) to alleviate the endless flow of endless ways to kill myself was watching TV.  I quickly learned that I had to be careful about what I watched because certain TV shows would make the depression worse. Even uplifting shows could make my depression deepen. I would identify with characters doing some incredible things for themselves and others. The problem? Because I knew they were depicting behaviors that I could do myself and for others, things I usually would do, yet I was not doing them. It is a wicked, sticky problem. 



Internal Conflicts

On More


loneliness has been my partner

four marriages matter little

several lovers lost count

led me here


deep sacred introspection


an intro into inspection

who, what makes up rules?

too many of them

easy to ignore

an invitation to spend a life ripping myself apart

day after day

moments mounting

until the depression is so gripping

worthlessness so real

i sense i reek like rotting flesh


my sins no longer forgiven

were they ever?

god is dead to me

an evil stalker haunts me

lures me

to a dreadful end

confession no longer viable

a ruse a perversion

capriciously taken away by rule makers

public confession

an invitation to lie

or die


write and write more

what no one will read

the child who would not stop asking why

is still at it     

he refuses to die.

t. villella


Quotes on the subject of "The War On Drugs"

  • “The pejorative term ‘abuse’ used in connection with diseases of addiction has the adverse effect of increasing social stigma and personal shame, both of which are so often barriers to an individual’s decision to seek treatment.”
    ― Joe Biden 1942 ― present
  • “The amount of money and of legal energy being given to prosecute hundreds of thousands of Americans who are caught with a few ounces of marijuana in their jeans simply makes no sense - the kindest way to put it. A sterner way to put it is that it is an outrage, an imposition on basic civil liberties and on the reasonable expenditure of social energy.”
    ― William F. Buckley Jr. 1925 ― 2008
  • “Penalties against possession of a drug should not be more damaging to an individual than the use of the drug itself; and where they are, they should be changed. Nowhere is this more clear than in the laws against possession of marijuana in private for personal use…”
    ― Jimmy Carter 1924 ― present
  • "The war on drugs has made government more powerful, citizens less free, and hasn't helped users or addicts."
    ― Victor Mitchell 1965 ― present
  • "We cannot continue doing the same thing and expect different results."
    ― Otto Perez Molina 1950 ― present
  • “The war on drugs is wrong, both tactically and morally. It assumes that people are too stupid, too reckless, and too irresponsible to decide whether and under what conditions to consume drugs. The war on drugs is bankrupt.”
    ― Larry Elder 1952 ― present